One Hundred and Fifty-Three Days

As the nights draw in, the clocks have finally gone back and we're all throwing longing glances in the direction of calendar 2010.

Only one hundred and fifty-three days till British Summer Time.

Sigh.

So, while we wait for that smell of freshly cut grass to waft through the car window as we queue on a sunny motorway slip road in March we have to distract ourselves with the important things in life.

Like the fact that Russ Bielby and Ashley Keeler have jointly won the Manager of the Week certificate. They steer their respective Livercoolio and Tesco Value FC to 20 points each. Livercoolio climb six places into fourth.

Highest climber of the week is Lionel Larking's Pompey Puss, up seven. Steve Tierney's Wymondham Wanderers fall furthest, down seven. [Sniggerchortle].

Week 10: Lead Stretched

Another three League teams pass the 100 point mark with Inter Milandrover regaining second spot. Overall, however, the chasing pack loses ground [1 point] to leaders, Decimated Left Peg.

Manager of the Week is Craig McHugh who steered his Olymping Macdrid to a point haul of 12, kicking them up the ladder by, oh, one place. Highest climber this week is Chris Brown's Must Kill Mojo [up four] farthest faller is Alun Edwards' Radnorshire Tigers [down four].

Everyone stare at Dan Manns and Gavin Ward [snigger] minus one point this week.

One Fixture May Not Mean Much To You, But It Does To Gavin

HashaSmasha netted 3 points this week earning manager Gavin Ward the Manager of the Week certificate and a climb of one place in the table. Highest ascender is Radnorshire Tigers, up two places, after scoring a mammothian 2 points.

We also welcome Edgar Rayner into the fold. His team Knievel United is in no way a blatant marketing attempt at raising sales of the album 'This Year's Evel Knievel' by Loopy on iTunes.

On iTunes.

That's iTunes.

I. Tunes.

Meanwhile, we await bandmate Tom's entry which will, we are led to believe, only include footballers' names that have musical connotations. Our collective eyebrow is arched into a cramp.

And finally, we welcome back Rick 'Captain Beecy' Beecroft from his honeymoon this week and hope that he and his 'Assistant Manager' had a great time [pictured].

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Week 08

Manager of the Week this week is Neil Jukes who extends his lead at the top of the table by netting 22 points for his Decimated Left Peg. Livercoolio rise highest, no thanks to Agbonlahor of course, by climbing six places while Champions Radnorshire Tigers and Not-Champions Lashings of Cheese fall three. Olymping Macdrid fumble their way off the bottom of the table.

Is it time to reveal this season's OFFL Cup prize yet?

It's All Arsenorm About Face At The Top

We have a change at the top as Inter Milandrover fail to surf the wave of points that crashed against the OFFL shore this week. They get barged out of the way by new leaders Decimated Left Peg and last week's Manager of the Week's Lovedean Academicals.

With an amazing score of 26 points, we see Arsenorm more than double their point tally so far this season earning their manager, Mark 'New Dad' Norman, this week's Manager of the Week Certificate, Keane TOT and O'Shea MU doing most of the work.

Moanchester Onionited climb highest [six places] into eighth while everybody stare at Andy Straw and his Nuttingham Florist... they fall lowest [seven places] into thirteenth.

Are you ready to find out more about this year's cup prize?

Tesco Tumble

Our Chairman has put his faith in the well-oiled machine that is the OFFL to run itself over the next week and a half while He has been invited over to the well-oiled provinces of Italy by the well-oiled Italian FA.

All in the name of 'Searching for New Talent' He reassures us. Though there's something quite amiss about that faint sound of what could be a sewing machine trying to over-take a cart full of olives on Puglia's Adriatic highway.

Manager of the Week this week is Kate 'Still Goes to Watch Oxford Play' Wilson with a rather chubby little score of 19 points. This takes the rather sexistly monikered Menarepigs Are Back up four places in the table. Biggest League Table movers, however, are Tesco Value FC: tumbling down five places. No movement in the top four though. Has the OFFL already established its Official Top Four for the year?

Chasing Pack Close In

Manager of the Week this week is Danny 'Champion of the World' Atkins with a neat little point profit of 18 for his Lovedean Academicals. Ankle-knacked Guy Harewood's Torun Terrors climb highest [up six] into seventh place in the table while Kicking the Ahbit fall six. RS T-Boy, meanwhile, nudge into joint second alongside Decimated Left Peg and the chasing pack all close in on current leaders Inter Milandrover.