Week 29: Derby derby

It's been a strange old week for the Real Sense boys up in Derby.

Firstly to note, and probably leastly, Lashings of Cheese's Chris Walsh has just popped a sprog, ably assisted by the club's Chief Executive, Val.

Which is nice.

For the grandparents.

From where Chris works: just past the coffee machine in the centre of the mouldy Ping Pong Table that is their hot desk, sits a child-free, sleep-happy, newly-wed called 'T-Boy' Rick who, having hogged the highest hole atop the league tree for the last few weeks, has recently been spending most of his time beaming round at his colleagues like a Special Child trying to work out how to open his mouth without choking on a Gloat.

However, the joy that belongs to both of these two OFFL managers is NOTHING compared with the joy currently whooping its way around Russ Bielby's throbbing chest. Yes, his Livercoolio has only gone and leapt into the lead at the head of the League table.

He's clearly a very proud man. As is his wife, Sarah John of Johnny's Heroes who has also just announced that she's pregnant. Yes, the father is Red Russ. Though we hear the baby will be Evertonian in colour.

There may be trouble ahead.

OFFL officials have been assured that attention to League matters will not suffer as a consequence of these shenanigans and the local water company is being investigated for allegedly adding 'something' to the water in the area.

In the meantime, hearty congratulations to all.

Neil McConaghy and Lionel Larking tear the Manager of the Week certificate down the middle in order to share the honours after both BM Mingmongs and Pompey Puss score a massive 33 points. Meanwhile Danny Atkins's Lovedean Academicals runs out of puff and drops four places.

It HAS been a funny old week.

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If you want to import the World Cup fixture list into your personal calendar then please feel free to click here...

http://j.mp/WC2010cal

...call it a little present from the OFFL.

OFFL Cup
Quarter Finals,
To be played over Week 32.

Decimated Left Peg v RS T-Boy
Knievel United v Dube Stars
Sheep City v Arsenorm
Tesco Value FC v Menarepigs Is Back

Well, look at that. It's the clash of the Titans in Decimated Left Peg versus RS T-Boy. But will the OFFL Cup Prize be taken home by any of the other promising teams?

Matches to be played over Week 32.

Three More Hundred Pointers

Flicking off the crumbs of yet another fun-size packet of Maltesers from the taut surface of his debauched belly, the Chairman actually managed to notice this week that the teams in positions two to six all made up some ground on the early season tearaway leaders, Decimated Left Peg.

Then a button popped off his waistcoat and stole his attention away from all matters OFFL leaving us here at OFFL HQ to marshal things as usual.

Which means that we have decided to fill this annoying piece of time-waste with news that Upmintster United, Pompey Puss and Tesco Value FC are the latest teams to pass the 100 point mark. And also that, in spite of getting rid of Agbonlahor just before he hit a very rich vein of form, Livercoolio push into third.


Manager of the Week this week is Lionel Larking whose Pompey Puss notch up a purrfectly acceptable 22 points Meanwhile good news also greets this week's highest climber, Rob Ivison's A God Called Fred who ascends five places.

And everyone stare at Nick Reed. Go on. Yes. His Gotsmanov's Salute fall farthest. Down seven. Stop sniggering at the back - it could happen to you next week. Well, most of you.